The Art of Bonking

Today’s post is a lesson in how to train bonk like a champion.  According to trusty Wikipedia, “Hitting the wall or the bonk describes a condition caused by the depletion of glycogen stores in the liver and muscles, which manifests itself by sudden fatigue and loss of energy” AKA – it’s like getting smacked in the face with a baseball bat full of hunger and desperation.

In preparation for tomorrow’s upcoming Rasputitsa Gravel Road Race in Vermont, I had the bright idea to actually go ride my bike the other day.  Imagine that??  I solicited some company from my super-cyclist husband and off we went.  I blindly followed him without asking any questions.  In retrospect, perhaps “how far are we going” may  have been a good one.

Halfway (ok – maybe less than that) into it my stomach growled.  I thought back to my last meal.  Surely I had eaten something since breakfast?  Nope.  Fail.  Shit.  I took stock of my pockets.  One inedible iPhone.  Super-cyclist was snack free also.   Naturally I blamed him for my state, as any reasonable person would.

We were over 10 hilly miles from home and I was deteriorating rapidly.  I was seriously scanning the sides of the road for something that looked edible.  ANYTHING would do.  I may have uttered “I’d punch a baby for some food”.  (Disclaimer – this was for dramatic effect.  I am pretty sure I would not have actually punched a baby.)

I crept my way toward home in full-on hot mess mode.  Snickers commercial on wheels. Visions of a farmstand full of candy and donuts popping up along the side of the road danced through my head.  I was wobbly, dizzy, freezing, and crabby as hell.  Finally Super-cyclist sprinted the last 6 miles home, got in the car, and came to get me.  Ride of Shame status – epic.  


And so, in summary – never leave home without a snack.  And don’t sign up for crazy events without training for them.  I can only hope that tomorrow goes a bit better than this.  And hopefully better than last year.  

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