Today’s post is a lesson in how to
train bonk like a champion. According to trusty Wikipedia, “Hitting the wall or the bonk describes a condition caused by the depletion of glycogen stores in the liver and muscles, which manifests itself by sudden fatigue and loss of energy” AKA – it’s like getting smacked in the face with a baseball bat full of hunger and desperation.
In preparation for tomorrow’s upcoming Rasputitsa Gravel Road Race in Vermont, I had the bright idea to actually go ride my bike the other day. Imagine that?? I solicited some company from my super-cyclist husband and off we went. I blindly followed him without asking any questions. In retrospect, perhaps “how far are we going” may have been a good one.
Halfway (ok – maybe less than that) into it my stomach growled. I thought back to my last meal. Surely I had eaten something since breakfast? Nope. Fail. Shit. I took stock of my pockets. One inedible iPhone. Super-cyclist was snack free also. Naturally I blamed him for my state, as any reasonable person would.
We were over 10 hilly miles from home and I was deteriorating rapidly. I was seriously scanning the sides of the road for something that looked edible. ANYTHING would do. I may have uttered “I’d punch a baby for some food”. (Disclaimer – this was for dramatic effect. I am pretty sure I would not have actually punched a baby.)
I crept my way toward home in full-on hot mess mode. Snickers commercial on wheels. Visions of a farmstand full of candy and donuts popping up along the side of the road danced through my head. I was wobbly, dizzy, freezing, and crabby as hell. Finally Super-cyclist sprinted the last 6 miles home, got in the car, and came to get me. Ride of Shame status – epic.
And so, in summary – never leave home without a snack. And don’t sign up for crazy events without training for them. I can only hope that tomorrow goes a bit better than this. And hopefully better than last year.