Good boobs gone wrong (a.k.a. the CW-X Running Bra Review)

I have been wanting to start doing some gear reviews for some time, but never seem to get around to it.  I’m always being asked about what type of gear I use, what I eat when I run, etc, etc, etc.  So, here we go.

You’d think I would start with a review of something like my shoes. Important, right?  Yes they are… but read on and you will see why my CW-X running bra is THE piece of gear I can NOT live without.  Forgive me… this could get long. 

See, kids… this post is more than just a gear review.  It is a cautionary tale in boobs gone horribly wrong.  It is also a lesson to remember to laugh.  Laugh hard, laugh often, and don’t forget to laugh at yourself.  Especially when you look utterly (udderly?) ridiculous.

Anyway…. on to the review.  Otherwise known as the Tale of the Terrible-Horrible-No-good-Very-Bad Boobs.

The Scene:  2012.  My trail and ultra running had been going quite well, I had moved on up from shorter races to 50k’s and now 50 milers.  I was having a great time.  I had an arsenal of what I thought were perfectly acceptable sports bras (I can NOT wear those cute little tops with the build in bras.  Well, I can.  But with one of below sports bras underneath.  Who wants to double bra it?? Not I!)  TJ Maxx shopping was fine with me, who doesn’t love a bargain, right?  Turns out?  I was wrong. Ohhhh  so wrong.

They seem innocent enough, right?  WRONG!

I had finished the Vermont 50 that year and was scrolling through the pics my husband took (on sport action mode, of course, so everything looks like a stop-motion video. faaaaaantastic).  There I was, happy, feet up against the wall, compression socks on, with NO idea what was coming.  Scrolling away until I got to the finish line pics…

ME:  scroll, scroll, scroll… thank you for taking so many great pictures!  This is awesome!

HUSBAND:  


ME:  Why are you looking at me that way?  What?…. scroll, scroll, scroll…  OH. MYGOD.
 

EEEEEk! What goes on??

A
Oh.

NO.

EEEEEHHHHRRRRMAHGERRRRD

Sweet Jesus.

Are they trying to escape???

 

Twinsies!


Traumatizing.  Ridiculous.  And Hillllllarrrrrious!!!!!  Once I got over the shock and stopped shrieking, I could NOT. STOP.  LAUGHING.   He assures me “It didn’t look like that in person”.  I’m pretty sure that is not entirely true.

Here she comes, down the finishing chute!

So obviously I returned home and caught my breath from the hysterical laughter I immediately began shopping for new sports bras. I was extremely lucky and hit the jackpot with just a few tries.  (I’m like the gear goldilocks…. It’s never quite right the first few times around).

First I tried the Moving Comfort Jubralee and Helena bras.  Udders seemed to have a mind of their own in the Helena.  Jubralee was a pretty solid choice, but not perfect.  Little too much side boob in that one.  So the search went on.

Luckily, I stumbled on CW-X next.  I tried out the CW-X Firm Support and the CW-X Versatx.

CW-X Versatx:
A very solid choice.  No racer back, which is a definite plus as these tend to give me a stiff neck and upper back for some reason, and get very uncomfortable when I wear them for long periods of time.  Hook and loop closure in the back so you can somewhat adjust the tightness around the ribcage.  Velcro adjustment for both straps as well, so you can really dial in your support level.  It didn’t have the strange “separate boob pocket” feel that some of the support bras seem to have – NOT a fan of that.  And it doesn’t totally look like a giant reinforced regular bra.  I was very happy with this purchase, and would definitely recommend this bra – especially to the larger chested (mine is a 34D, so not on the bigger end of the sizing), but I think the option to adjust the top straps and the overall construction make it a very comfortable choice for a wide variety of support needs.   Kept my unruly boobs in place without incident.  Two thumbs up!


CW-X Firm Support:
By far, my favorite.  Again no racer back, and has the hook and loop closure in the back for adjustment.  It doesn’t have the velcro adjustment on the straps, which I found I liked better.  These fit like a glove!  Like a squeezy, supportive glove.  It isn’t so tight around your ribcage that you feel like a python is slowly squeezing the air out of your lungs.  No bounce. (Well, hardly any bounce.  They are fantastic, but not miracle workers!)  I have run super technical trails in this.  I have run for nearly 12 hours in this.  I have mountain biked, road biked…. I found the perfect bra!  It came in sizes like a normal bra size, so it was easy to pick the right sizing (I mean really.   define small  or medium please.)  The 34D fit great in this also, pretty true to normal bra sizing (Though I’ve never actually been measured.  So I might actually be a 38B who is completely deluded and misguided. I hope not.)


Aaaaaaaaand…. then I found out that this model doesn’t exist anymore.  I have three right now.  I am considering locking them in an airtight safe-like chamber.  Perhaps next to the U.S Constitution?  that might not be secure and climate-controlled enough.  Seriously, if these things give out on me I will be force to throw myself on the ground in a puddle of tears and saggy tits.  (Or I can stop being such a drama queen and use the Versatx which is just fine.)  Yo… CW-X – if you’re listening and have a stockpile of these beauties in some back-ass warehouse somewhere, send ’em my way.  I will be forever grateful. 

So, there you have it.  A most unfortunate photo-op led me to finally fork over for some quality sports bras.  They are so much more comfortable.  And supportive.  And fabulous.  Ladies…. fork over some cash for a quality sports bras, eh?  

Instead of looking like this in your finish line photos…

You will most happily look a little more like this! 

2013 VT 50 mile finish

2014 VT 50k finish

2014 VT 50k finish


Thanks for reading, I hope you got some serious giggles from this very technical gear review.  Now go tell all of your friends to buy a good sports bra.  Seriously.

**Disclaimer – All opinions above are my own.  I am not paid by any of the companies mentioned above, nor have I received any of these goods for free.  These were all paid for by my very own pennies.  Trust me, if I don’t like something, I’ll tell ya!  

Sources:
Kristin Wiig gif:  www.tumblr.com (found on giphy.com) (sorry, couldn’t find the actual person who made it.  but thank you for your hilarity)
Orangutan pic:  google images
Nutty professor running gif: http://giphy.com/gifs/aFUGsLbYeicEg



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4 thoughts on “Good boobs gone wrong (a.k.a. the CW-X Running Bra Review)

  1. Priceless. I was sent here by its a marathon and a sprint
    This was too funny.

    I will be focused on ” the ladies ” on my next run. Usually run in champion running bra for high impact mainly because the women at the outlet said i could return them if they chafe. Nothing like spending a small fortune and then finding out you are scared from them!

    Like

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